Movies can provoke any emotional reaction under the sun. Laughter, tears, anxiety, joy, nausea - you name it, and you can likely think of a film that made you feel that way.

If I had to attach one word to the way I felt as I watched Woody Allen’s September, it would be “sleepy”. Though the flick only runs for 83 minutes, I could barely keep my eyes open during this dreary and turgid affair.

September delivers a character piece, albeit one with little drama and lackluster participants. The film focuses on a brief period of a few days during which some friends and relatives intermingle at the house owned by Lane (Mia Farrow).

Lane’s mother Diane (Elaine Stritch) and her boyfriend Lloyd (Jack Warden) stop in for a brief period and we also meet Lane’s friends Steffie (Dianne Wiest), Howard (Denholm Elliott), and Peter (Sam Waterston). Some tension is in the air because of Lane’s semi-estranged relationship with her mother.

It seems that Diane is a pretty pushy old broad, and weak-willed Lane is tired of her mom’s meddling and lack of support. However, that mother and daughter stress is only one of the overtones found during September.

We also find a very muddled series of crushes, as Howard loves Lane who loves Peter who loves Steffie who’s married and has kids who she’s ignoring for the summer so she can sort out her own mixed up feelings. Everyone frets about their feelings and seems fairly tense.

In a nutshell, that’s what September is about: feelings, and usually they’re unpleasant. Except for brassy old Diane and tolerant Lloyd, everyone else is so uptight and agitated that they all seem like they’re going to explode.

Actually, this is an overstatement, as the two men involved in this love rectangle - or pentagon, if we include Steffie’s unseen husband - stay fairly calm. It’s the women who corner the market on nerves.

Since all of these folks feel terribly self-centered, it’s no mean feat to stand out in the crowd, but both Farrow and Wiest do so with their frightfully annoying characters. Granted, Farrow’s often fairly irritating, so her petulant moaning as Lane comes as no surprise.

However, I usually enjoy West, which made the level at which I disliked Steffie so astonishing. Among a crew of whiners, Steffie seems like the worst of the bunch.

For one, it appears gallingly egocentric of her to abandon her family so she can idly play with her friends for the summer. In addition, Wiest’s snippy demeanor ensures that we’ll find virtually nothing to like about her.

Wiest also becomes saddled with the worst dialogue in the movie. Amazingly, the alleged genius that is Woody Allen apparently wrote a line in which Steffie discusses her husband:

“He’s a radiologist. He takes x-rays but I never let him take them of me because if he looked inside, he’d see things that he wouldn’t understand and he’d be terribly hurt.”

Woof!

While most of the dialogue isn’t quite that bad, the vast majority seems to be depressingly superficial and pretentious. Allen desperately wants to make statements about life and relationships, but it all appears mind-numbingly banal and pointless.

Unfortunately, Allen usually populates his films with pompous members of the alleged intelligentsia, and they do more than whine about their dreary lives. Perhaps this nonsense makes Allen and his friends feel better about themselves, but it’s hell to watch it.

If there’s anything positive about September, I can’t find it. It’s not that I oppose this kind of film, because I don’t. I actually really liked Bergman’s Autumn Sonata, a work that Allen blatantly rips off for parts of September.

The problem is that Allen is no Bergman. That director could handle relationship films and make them seem effortlessly real and deep at the same time.

Allen comes off as nothing more than a sad pretender. His own dissatisfaction with his comedic legacy appears clear through his lousy “dramatic” works, and September stands as a miserable testament to the worst material put out by this highly-regarded director.

September appears in an aspect ratio of 1.85:1 on this Blu-ray Disc. This turned into a positive presentation.

Sharpness worked fine. Some mild softness crept into a few low-light interiors – of which the movie sported many – but overall delineation seemed solid.

No issues with jagged edges or shimmering occurred, and edge haloes remained absent. Grain appeared natural, and print flaws remained absent.

As befit the title, September boasted an autumnal palette that heavily favored amber/orange. The disc reproduced the hues well, though – as I’ll discuss when I compare to the old DVD – I wonder if the Blu-ray represented the colors as shown in 1987.

Blacks felt deep and dense, while shadows came across with appealing clarity. This became a positive image.

Until very recently, Woody Allen refused to use multi-channel audio, a fact represented via the disc’s DTS-HD MA monaural track. Not surprisingly, dialogue became by far the most significant aspect of the mix, and all of the speech appeared appropriately warm and natural. All lines were distinct and crisp, and they lacked any edginess or problems related to intelligibility.

Otherwise, there was little to hear in this mix. Effects remained minor throughout the film, as they were restricted to quiet ambience for the most part.

The loudest element came during a thunderstorm, and that portion of the mix sounded reasonably accurate and clear. I thought the thunder lacked much dynamic impact, but since it - like the rest of the effects - stayed firmly in the background, this wasn’t a real problem.

September didn’t offer a true score. Instead, all of the music heard during the film came from incidental sources.

Music emanated either from records or from Dianne Wiest’s piano playing. As with the effects, the music always remained firmly in the background.

Quality appeared to be fine, as the tunes sounded acceptably warm and rich. Ultimately, September didn’t provide an active auditory experience, but it showed fine clarity and the sound worked well for the film.

While I no longer own that disc and can’t directly contrast the two, based on my notes, I suspect the DVD release from 2001 and the Blu-ray came with similar audio. The BD’s lossless mix probably became a bit warmer, but with such a restricted track, I wouldn’t expect much difference.

As for visuals, the BD boasted improvements due to its superior definition, so anticipate stronger sharpness. Also, the DVD came with persistent print flaws, all of which evaporated here, and I suspect blacks looked deeper on the BD.

Colors became a more contentious issue. As mentioned above, the BD’s palette leaned heavily amber/orange, whereas my 2001 review felt the hues looked fairly subdued.

Did September’s colors get redone to meet the “modern” slant toward amber/orange? My guess would be yes, but I can’t say for certain.

I checked out clips from the film online, and those did lean toward a more mild amber, as did the movie’s daylight shots. The heavy orange manifested more during evening scenes.

In any case, I will leave it up to Allen aficionados to decide if the Blu-ray altered the original colors. That said, the disc still seemed to be an upgrade over the DVD due to the fact everything else about the image clearly worked better on the Blu-ray.

No extras appear on the disc.

One of Woody Allen’s dreariest and worst films, September turned me off so much it made me dislike Dianne Wiest, something difficult to do. It delivers a laughably pretentious piece that features nothing creative or insightful. The Blu-ray comes with very good picture and adequate audio but it lacks bonus materials. Even at a mere 83 minutes, the movie becomes a chore to watch.

To rate this film, visit the prior review of SEPTEMBER